9/21/09 Conversation Drive, Use broiler- 1st time

O.K. today I was so very tired in the a.m. But I did finally get up and get showered. Got all my exercises done--40 minutes(by the by). Then breakfast and ready for Luke and my conversation ride. OOOPS. This was not a peaceful time. Fight. Fight. Fight. Bringing up ancient history. Pouting, Feeling sorry for ourselves. The worst. We are talking about --Luke putting his all into his dumb career and not putting his all into our home and ME. We have always fought about this subject. I hope that this is our year to resolve it. I hope this is my year to heal and repair my yoga classes, lose weight, and resolve this major issue with Luke.

You know, sports fans, this is not just selfish. I want him to be more well rounded for his own sake. What happens if he ever retires--I mean from even a part of his life. What would he do?

Also I want him to be healthy. Not feel compelled to use so much of his energy for others. Save some for yourself, guy. Too much work means bad sleep for Luke--scary bad.

Even though our conversation ride seemed to be awful. Just awful. In our case, it brought out that we do love each other. I think we're making progress.

We stop for Starbucks. I am exhausted. Bone tired. Luke has to drop me off home and interview a new student at Butler. He tells me that I should get some fresh air. I do go outside with a book. It's fall. OMG. The leaves are turning color and red and yellow butterflies are falling to the earth. Birds are singing. I listen. Sounds all around. Kids playing sounds, bird sounds., car sounds, motorcycle sounds. Then I go in. It's time to make dinner.

I hope that Luke will honor himself by coming home in time to see Jeopardy. I want dinner to be ready. I decide to go outside my comfort zone--I'm going to use my broiler for the first time since I bought the appliance years and years ago. I'm making fish--it's called Hake or something. I'm not sure I spray my pan and then I put the little fish things in. This is NOT food t.v.--Bobby Flay would not be proud. After the Hakes are laid side by side , I brush them with olive oil. That's it. At first, I put the fish too far from the flame. Finally I fix the situation and place it just right. OOOPs it's drying out. Oh well. Maybe next time.

I have learned that I hate broccoli alone or with carrots. Uggg. But I do like a smaller amount of broccoli, sliced thin , with either tiny mushrooms or corn. Then I put on coconut oil and a dash of Une Plume.

Luke came home in time to see most of his show. Yay!!!! And he liked dinner a lot.

It was my job to find a motel for the kids (Rain's family) this wed night. They are going to Amiees wedding. I wanted to go but . . . Luke had to play a fancy concert . . . on the very same week-end: Luke's concert, Prem's going back to India party, and Amiee cool, beach wedding--and guess what --I wouldn't have been up to any of it.

Anyway, I called AAA. Let them do it. They were like we can find a place but it'll cost you--$$$$$$ amost $200. folks. Not cool. And then there would have been all kinds of extra problems and costs--getting to the airport etc.

I said no. I can do this. I open the yellow pages and there it is--love at first sight. The Ramada is 12 min from the airport, and they offer a shuttle and a place to keep their car -- for . . . ta da....$77 in all. Yay. Me!!!!! I did it.