I didn't write yesterday.  Here's an quick update.  

I woke up in a dark space.  It happens--even when you are trying to create a miraculous life.  I was grumpy and wanted to blame people--for everything.  Also I felt sorry for myself for everything.  Baba used to say that in the heart center there are vibrational spaces --fear ,  love,  anger ,  peace and so on.  He said that until you reach oneness with God you can and will get stuck in all the spaces.  Just get loose as soon as you can and move on.  Don't worry about it.  

I blamed R because I didn't like the complimentary color that we picked to go with the brick like color on the main wall in the master bath.  In my heart I knew that I had agreed to try the lighter version of the brick color,  instead of the warmer ones that Luke and I chose together.  But it seemed easier to blame R.  I could have called him at any time,  he's so nice,  and told him to repaint,  but it seemed easier to just be mad.  

Finally he called me.  And I could see clearly whose fault this really was.  And it wasn't R.  

The day went on this way.  I was mad.  I'm not sure at who or why.  

I did learn a good lesson from Luke's student A.  She needed Luke to write a letter of recommendation for her to get into grad school.  She sent an initial request,  but didn't follow up.  Now the letter would have to be sent late.  I do that all the time,  then get mad when people don't call me back.  I'm committed to following up in a more timely manner.  

Luke didn't want to eat dinner out.  We had a little to do about it.  I got really mad.  I hate it when Luke fights with me when someone else is around.  He knows this and I suspect that when he's in a bad mood,  he does it on purpose to show his power.  I snarled at him under my breath.  He wanted to continue on,  but didn't.  When he has a solo in a concert ,  he doesn't always want to eat out or even to eat at all.

MKate,  M and I ate at Chipotles.  In some ways this was good.  MKate forgot that we could get hot food at Chipotles,  eating there reminded her that we could.  

We drove to the concert together.  Luke revealed in conversaton that when a benefit concert that he agreed to play--one that was one more tiring thing at the end of a long day--was canceled--he quickly called up to suggest that the concert be resheduled.  This is an area we are "working" on.  Now I was even angrier than before.  I didn't want to interfer with Luke's prep for the concert so I just got quiet.  I was sooo mad. 

The concert was ok but kind of boring.  I didn't like the tickets we were given.  I blamed E . 

I didn't even like the concert very much.  Too much boring conversation that went on and on.  Some of the pieces were actually nice and even very nice,  but the concept didn't work for me.  They are getting too far away from the original idea of chamber conversations.  The audience didn't give the main performer( a pianist/composer) a standing ovation because they didn't like his work.  

MKate and M agreed with me.

The party afterwards was fun.  There was no decent food,  but the company was fun.  I got to talk to Paster Tom.  He said he liked my music and thought it would work at his church.  I would never have know this if I didn't ----get back to him.  (Thanks A for that important life lesson.)